What makes you a control freak? For me it’s having my hand in everything going on. Hey if I don’t get it done than nobody else will. Being a control freak has its positives and its negatives, but the aftermath of being a control freak seems to break a lot of women down. What needs to be realize is that we don’t have to do it all. Asking for help is not a sin its gaining clarity for yourself. For me it’s difficult to give people control over certain things especially when it involves my children. It’s bad to the point where I snatch responsibilities from my husband with being a father to our children. The thing is I never noticed it until I feel overwhelmed with doing everything. From sun up to sun down I was doing some kind of responsibility without asking for help. Because of this I found myself down spiraling into sadness, anger, jealousy, negative thinking, and not taking care of myself. I would turn into the crazy, ranting person waving the white flag and demanding for someone to save me by lending a helping hand.
Hey my MindfulSistahs. Wanted to come to you today to discuss the topic of finding your inner strength. We all go through moments where life dishes devastating or struggling moments. I am the first to attest that I go into a mental and emotional rampage when something knocks me off balance. I used to cry all the time, think negatively, and blame other people for the very reason why the situation happened. This may be petty but as I got older I would look at the very way I was reacting and tell myself why did I take myself through so much mental and emotional turmoil just because life threw in some lemons. Through my learning process its all about how we react to struggling times or devastating moments. Once I learned that I began to look at hard times differently and not let it just completely break me down. So today I want to share 5 things that helped me pull through difficult times.
- It could have been much worse: When difficult times happened I would worry and take my emotions through a rollercoaster. But now I ask myself these question are our children, myself or husband hurt, are we homeless, are we starving, do we not have any clothes or shoes for our body, do I not have ways to make money etc…. Saying these very things to myself helped me calm down fast because the most important people that I love are fine and we have the necessities to live day to day. So before I break down because of a disagreement I had with my husband over why he changes the very channel I’m watching lol I think to myself those things and IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
- Talking to people I can trust and love: Now don’t blow me off because of this. I know there are friends and family members that you talk to and your business will be on the street as soon as your done ranting lol. But I believe that talk therapy is the best therapy to help alleviate feelings bottled up inside. Releasing what you are feeling is the reason why I am inspired to becoming a therapist. If you keep feelings locked inside of you eventually it will make you sick or make you do or react to things in a manner that you normally wouldn’t do. TALKING TO PEOPLE YOUTRUST AND LOVE will help you to process those feelings and also help with gaining knowledge on how to handle those so called lemons life throws at us.
- Do things that make you happy: I can say for myself doing things to make myself happy was hard to do. The thing is I am great at making someone else feel happy after there situation. But go totally go nuts when I’m going through something. But baaaaaaaby I have learned that no one is going to make you happy. You have control over your own happiness. Its okay to have a situation happening and you want a break from the turmoil. Do whatever it is that make you happy. Happiness can bring clarity, it and help relieve stress, make decision etc… DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY. By the way what are those things?
- Trust that you are not the only person going through this situation: I use to think that nobody has went through so much drama as I did. Opening up and sharing my situation would always bring other people to say “Yep I went through that too.” Those very words would light me up on the inside thinking wow, I am NOT THE ONLY PERSON GOING OR HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS SITUATION. I wouldn’t light up because of there struggle ( I know where your mind is going lol) but the courage and strength that was built in that individual to not let the situation get the best of them was the light for my dark moment. They pulled through. I love talking to the older generation. They have been there done that and got the t-shirt (as my momma would say) They have been through the very same situations if not worse. If you listen really well there wisdom reveals so much in handling any situation the come your way.
- Enjoy life, nobody said that it would be easy: This one is important to me because when you think about it life is not easy. If someone told you that they lied lol. It is bound that there are going to be times where you feel like the world is on your shoulders or you feel as if things keep happening. All I’m saying is that realizing that those battling situations are going to come and they will go. Just know that troubling times will come our way it is all about how we react to them. Keep this in mind 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
That’s the post for today. I hope this information is helpful and will help you when life gets tough. Share your comments and join the MindfulSistahs email list. As always I am here for y’all, we are in this together. Y’all have a blessed week.
Do you feel your life is on auto pilot? All these duties that have to be fulfilled with work, school, children, husband, friends, church, community etc… Not being mindful of yourself and living in auto pilot can cause lots of stress. Mindful Sistahs is provided to help women become aware of their feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Also to help women to communicate and learn from other women to help relieve stress. On the homepage will be the most recent post. You can also read the post in the appropriate selections in the menu above.
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Hey my MindfulSistah. Sorry its been awhile since my last post. Duties of motherhood, being wife and job was taking hold. But I am making through the process. So any whooooooooooo…..todays post I feel the need to talk about appearance. Does it really matter?
This morning getting dressed and ready for work, I pulled out the regular jeans and a t-shirt thinking ughhh another day being a slave to the agency. As I put on my jeans and my shirt and looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. I felt I looked unprofessional, sluggish, just no confidence about myself. Its amazing how the clothes you put on can control your mood for the day. At that point something said nooooooo change into something more professional. This is what cracked me up yall is that I pulled out a professional outfit and started to iron them. Yes iron! I don’t never iron my clothes lol. Growing up I always seen my nana and mama ironing there clothes and was heavy with the starch lol. I always thought they doing to much just to put some clothes on for the day. But ironing and putting my outfit on with the right shoes and jewelry gave me a little umphh in my step. Looking in the mirror for the second time I felt more confident and ready to conquer the day. The question is why does it take for me to dress up to feel better about myself?
Now being a mother to three children, wife and working a full time job and I noticed that I stopped thinking about myself and focusing on what I need. With me not checking in with myself has caused me to not care about ME. Adjusting to being a mother to three kids it has been tough to focus on dressing myself and getting three kids dressed to. So the solution I found to that problem is grabbing the first wrinkled pair of jeans and shirt, throw it on with a hoodie, and run out the door. Doing that I wasn’t productive and I would feel as if I had no confidence in anything. But today I decided no more! My appearance is going to matter. I owe myself that. You wouldn’t believe how much work I got done today just by dressing up and looking nice. So I decided that each day that god wakes me up I will show myself some love by dressing up and looking professional and confident. Hey, this is what works for me to keep me going. MindfulSistahs does your appearance matter? How does it make you feel?
What’s up my MindfulSistahs! Hope you all are having a blessed week. So last week we left off on the topic being stuck between a goal and a hard place. How was your entries about this topic? what did you discover? For me I discovered that my biggest barrier to achieving my dream goal is being a mother to my children. I hear people all the time being a mother doesn’t stop you from achieving your goals. But in my case its not stopping me its demanding me to be a mother to my children because they need me the most. I enjoy every bit of it! I know there are mothers out there who have pushed themselves to the limit to achieve their goals. My question is how did they make it through? Doing journal entries help me to discover that even though I have children and I am not able to fulfill my goal at this point doesn’t mean I cant fulfill it in the future. Some people may not agree with this because it is known that when you put something off 9 times out of 10 you will not return to it. But I want to be different and make sure I fulfill my goal. Coming this conclusion has calmed my mind down 100% I don’t feel rushed to accomplish my goal in a speedy manner. I just know within myself I have time to get all the things done I want in life I just to make sure that I committed enough to get it done. Read more
Hey my MindfulSistahs! How many of you participated in the this week mindful thought. I know I did! Doing the journal entries on myself asking myself who am I, was kind of hard at first, but the only reason it was hard was due to me trying to be perfect and not being real. Once I made myself aware of that I started over. The information for that journal entry flowed so easily. Honestly some of the items that I listed made me reminisce on my childhood and adulthood experiences. Some of the memories brought tears to my eyes. I told y’all if you really real with yourself then some emotions will manifest. I wrote three pages worth of Who am I facts about myself. I was surprised that I had so much information about myself. Overall I really enjoyed exploring who I really am and in that self discovery I discovered some new interest. One of the interest was that I am interested in participating in African dance. I am proud of myself for discovering this because for so long I couldn’t think of any interest. What was your experience with this activity? Don’t be afraid to express. Remember we in this together and I’m here for you! Read more
Speaking life into existence is something that as women we need to do everyday. The words that is used to create our life is powerful and being more mindful of what you say is important. I have a bad habit of being positive and doubting at the same time. I uphold more negative thoughts and words in my everyday life that it is hard being positive when it comes to myself. It gets so bad for me that when I think negative thoughts my head feels so full of negativity that I feel it can explode. I already was accustom to negativity controlling my thoughts. I never thought it would grab hold of my emotions. Read more